Chapter Three, it is fortunate to have someone accompany you as you grow up.
Perhaps this is the most regrettable thing in my youth. Someone taught me many things when I was young, and in my memory, he is always present. I tried to follow in his footsteps and grew up through the process of constantly hitting walls. I learned to observe, but when I learned to handle things calmly and with composure, we had already grown further apart on our respective paths of growth.
They once had such memories between them, after Shen Nian confessed. A mutual friend asked him, "How do you feel about her?"
Up to now, Shen Nianci still can't get over it. She often thinks, if only she were a little prettier, it would be better. This is not an unfounded statement, because shortly after Shen Nianci met Li Yingze, he had dated a classmate of Shen Nianci.
There were too many things that happened afterwards, and Shen Nianci couldn't remember some of them clearly. He only remembered that during that period of time, it was the same as before, always looking at him, looking at him, still looking at him.
At noon the next day, she was sitting on the bus to school when she received his reply at 12 o'clock: "Okay."
The age of first love, encountering a beautiful and interesting girl, coupled with the so-called lifelong commitment, anyone would be deceived.
Yes, she probably liked him before. Later, Shen Nianci stopped bothering Li Yingze because they were no longer friends. She would only send a message saying "Happy New Year" in the verification message.
She knew that it must have been the girl who took the initiative.
Shen Nianci once thought that was the beginning, but unexpectedly it was the end. It seems that every relationship that is lost and regained is like this, reconciling after a fierce argument, only to lose it again.
Shen Nianci also asked him why he was always alone. He even found someone in his own class who lived very close to his home and suggested that they go to school together. However, at that time, Li Yingze did not respond much, only saying, "No need, I'm used to it."
Their way of getting along is also very strange. Shen Nianci sometimes shows her friends their chat records, and her friends just say strangely, "Why can't I understand what you guys are talking about?" Yeah, many people can't understand. That belongs to the two of them. They talk about ideals, poetry, distance, and helplessness.
Within less than a week, Li Yingze deleted Shen Nianci from his friends list. His final words were, "Hmm, we are not even suitable as friends."
Perhaps Shen Nianci's resignation was too dramatic, or perhaps Shen Nianci placed him in the wrong position. After deleting him as a friend, all the messages Shen Nianci left for Li Yingze remained, and he never deleted them.
He said, "How could there be no feeling."
I originally wanted to say that I miss you very much, but it turned into a lousy Happy New Year.
That girl is she good-looking or not, Shen Nianci doesn't care, but everyone else says she is good-looking. Shen Nianci dislikes her, not only because she had a relationship with Li Yingze and hurt him, but also because she once bullied Shen Nianci.
That day, when Shen Nianci returned home, she sent a message to Li Yingze, saying, "You need to think it through. I have a bad temper, and it would be difficult to be friends with someone like me."
I once tried to retain it, but the barriers and distances between people cannot be erased with just a few words.
During that period of time, Shen Nianci never spoke to Li Yingze and her eyes were full of disgust towards him.
During that time, they still talked about poetry and distant places, talked about ideals, and even accompanied Shen Nianci to perform plays that they didn't know each other, but Shen Nianci shattered everything beautiful.
On that day, Shen Nian accompanied him to the intersection near his home and reluctantly left. On that day, they talked about many things, like long-lost friends. Li Yingze also talked to her about many things, including his mother's expectations of him and himself, but nothing about Shen Nianci.
Shen Nianci took away one of his award-winning notebooks, which was filled with words, and returned it to him. After Li Yingze found out, he even spent a whole night reading it and comforting Shen Nianci, saying, "You are fortunate to have someone accompany you as you grow up." And that sentence, "I am not worthy of your love."
Shen Nianci's craziest thing is to see him, escape the final exam, get caught by the teacher, but she has no regrets because she wants her youth to be crazy and passionate, sincere and open, brave and fearless.
Shen Nianci immediately replied, "Class is over, come over..." The result showed that they were no longer friends, but on that day, Shen Nianci sat on the bus, listening to the theme song of "Love Unexpectedly," feeling a sense of relief in her heart. She got the answer she wanted, no longer vague.
Later on, they had many entanglements. Perhaps it was these that made Shen Nianci unable to forget for a long time, unable to move on. It was a vague response. He only said, "I am not worthy of your affection."
Later, I changed my signature to "Fierce beasts always walk alone, while cattle and sheep gather in groups."
At that time, Shen Nianci did not understand that this was just Li Yingze's polite way of refusing.
Li Yingze replied, "In the end, it's still me, the good person, who suffers."
She posted a long article, and at the end, there was a sentence: "If you have no other thoughts, please delete me and stop giving me false hope."
Shen Nianci leaves behind some marks every time he leaves. He writes in his notebook, puts a leaf in his book, takes a pack of 50-cent tissues for him, helps him tidy up his messy drawer, leaves a small note in his book, and he never gets angry.
Even now, Shen Nianci still feels uncomfortable and regretful when thinking of this person. The long river of time allowed us to meet a close friend, but after a brief and beautiful encounter, we each got back on our own track and returned to our original path.
Shen Nianci still remembers creating a fake account to chat with Li Yingze as an online friend. Ironically, Li Yingze knew all along that it was Shen Nianci, and Shen Nianci had already guessed it as well.
However, she had long been unable to break free. The feeling of relief is fleeting, and it will exist at all times.
Occasionally, Li Yingze would reply to him, but most of the time they were not in a friendly state. The last time Shen Nianci chatted with him was in June 2021, right after he finished the college entrance examination. Shen Nianci shamelessly added him again, and he agreed. After a few greetings, they lost contact again. However, Shen Nianci would occasionally post some updates, hoping to catch his attention. Finally, on a sleepless night at around 3 o'clock, Shen Nianci expressed her dissatisfaction. Shen Nianci shamelessly added him again, and he agreed. After a few greetings, they lost contact again. However, Shen Nianci would occasionally post some updates, hoping to catch his attention. Finally, on a sleepless night at around 3 o'clock, Shen Nianci expressed her dissatisfaction.
At that time, Shen Nianci did not understand his world, so he vigorously pursued the world in his eyes, trying to empathize with him. However, when Shen Nianci arrived, Li Yingze had already left.
Why did Li Yingze say "It's very fortunate to have someone accompany you as you grow up"? Because from kindergarten to third grade, he studied in Shenyang. Later, when he was in fourth grade, he ran back and started first grade again. This is the real reason for his grade retention.
From that time on, he was alone at home, alone at school, perhaps because of being alone, loneliness made him grow up at the fastest pace, leading to him having a maturity that he shouldn't have at that age.
He still looks towards the classroom where Shen Nianci is located from the window, and occasionally looks towards the fourth floor from the playground. Shen Nianci still sneaks into his classroom during his unauthorized absence, sits on his seat for a while, and looks at the opposite teaching building from his perspective to see what kind of scenery can be seen.
She has a boyfriend now. Li Yingze replied, and Shen Nianci couldn't tell whether his tone was speechless or helpless.